A hipster today won the Uber Goober award of the year

Got the ping, heard my text message alerts pinging off the hook (yeah, like I can read these with a bus turning in front of me, bikes flying from the left/right and the po-po sirens screaming from the north or south). I stopped at the pinpont and read the texts. “I’m still on the train arriving soon”. “Wearing the red pants”…and more. Uber WILL fail in $hitcago unless the drivers are drunk/high artsy people too.

Anytime someone makes me wait more than 5 minutes, instead of no-showing and pray for the $5, Id wait til they get in the car, point out how incredibly rude it is to make me wait, then kick their ass out.

You’d be better off starting the trip and driving away after 5 minutes. End the trip a few minutes later and get the minimum fare. Personally, I wouldn’t start taking things out on the pax. They are sheeple and as a whole, people are notoriously stupid.

Your advice would be good if I was trying to make money. I wouldnt be. Doubt pointing out the rudeness of making a driver wait would be viewed by many as “taking it out on the pax”

If it was my last weekend and I wanted to make a point, I wouldn’t say no to making money while doing it. It lets the pax know that they were late and rude and you get paid and Uber takes it from them.

I found a very real looking remote control tarantula. I’m thinking it would be interesting to have it come crawling out of the corner of rear deck between the passengers.

I would start the trip from where I am. Rates are ridiculously low. At least this will give them incentive to try harder to flag me and not make me wait or search for them.

I would eat a lot of Mexican food preferably from a buffet to get more food for the money. Mexican food is very gassy! I would start test farting to drunk and smelly people to find where their tolerance level is!

This will be a retaliation to make them pay for the time when they leave the car and still their thick smell mixture of cigarettes, alcohol and who knows what lingers.

I actually got a “sorry” response to my text of “you should have already been down” tonight as I was driving away after 5+ mins at a highrise. She said she was “coming down now” after me waiting 3 minutes blocking traffic.

Hi, so glad I’ll be driving you today. I love driving for Uber cause the tips are great ! Memorize it. Get as much $ as you can on the way out.

Today IS my last day driving and at the end of any $4 rides, I’m gonna turn around and say to the passenger, “Are you f-cking kidding me? Did I really just drive your lazy ass 3 blocks? You know I only get $2.50 of that? Buy your lazy ass a HoverRound and stop wasting my time.”

On my last day, it’s going to be late Saturday night and I’m going to park and walk to the busiest Uber hotspot bar district. I’m going to stand out on the sidewalk of the bars, and go online. I may get some pings from miles away, but I’ll let them pass.

Just quit and retain some semblance of dignity. You can’t educate a cheap ass company or their cheap ass pax anyway. They aren’t worth the trouble.

I may use two phones. One would receive my calls and texts, and the other run the uber driver app. I would then put my uber driver app in a drone after accepting a ping, and then fly it around the pax.

I’d pretend that I was super tired from driving a long shift and say "I’m really tired, I might fall asleep behind the wheel, make sure I don’t fall asleep while driving, then I’d pretend to fall asleep and let them scream while I pretend to swerve the car.

I would wear a creepy outfit/makeup and be friendly at meet up and get them in the car and then say nothing the entire trip maybe moan or grunt a few times

I’d talk about it being my last day as I’m losing money driving their entitled asses around.I will bring it up with emphasis that since they choose not to tip their drivers,very soon everyone will quit and they will be left with the local metro service to deal with.